Bianca – Why Not?

From business in Vienna to yoga by the Atlantic. I meet Bianca on a rooftop terrace - a yoga teacher at psychosomatic retreats. We talk about modern life, and why so many escape to the Atlantic coast in their search for happiness.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Behind the noise.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

How often are we really allowed to say when someone asks you how are you? and you say, actually, I'm really bad, I'm going through something. Did I find happiness? I think in the beginning, quite the opposite.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

A successful businesswoman in Vienna is now sitting on a roof terrace in a reservoir and talking about yoga retreats and spirituality. Why are we not more happy in modern life? It is a paradox. We live under better conditions than ever before in human history, and still many of us struggle. I am searching for new ways to break this paradox. My journey begins on the Atlantic coast of Portugal in Elisa. Here I talk to yoga teacher and mental coach Bianca about why so many people come here searching for answers. But first, I will ask her something else. At a retreat in psychosomatic therapy, we were sent out onto a cliff at sunset to shout no and then scream, jump and dance. But why?

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Well, that was quite a special experience, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

I think um nowadays we don't really have the possibility to express what's going on inside, and yet there's, as you said, more going on than ever. We are constantly bombarded from the outside, from news, from social media, from possibilities of things to do, we always feel that we're missing out and we feel quite overwhelmed. And yet everything is happening in our heads, and we can't really express our emotions. We don't really know how. And um over the past years, uh, I've been hosting a lot of retreats. First, it started with actually yoga and surfing. So when I looked at those cliffs and looked at the ocean while I was standing there, I thought, hmm, a few years ago I was in the water with participants screaming and feeling alive, and now I'm here on a somatic psychotherapy and yoga retreat with my two colleagues, Nikki and Eva. And it made me think that there wasn't much difference between what the participants were seeking, because I realized that a lot of people came on these retreats, they wanted to learn surfing, but what they really wanted was to feel alive again, to feel the connection with the body. Because we are always in our minds, we're sitting at our desks, we're running around the city from one Iran to the next. But when can we really stop and just express ourselves? And I think um I realized that a lot of people were looking for changes in their lives, they were unhappy, and it was a catalyst to do this trip, to do something for yourself. And um, then I knew that I wanted to make a bigger impact on people's lives and really be able to support them. As you say, there's a lot of struggles mentally. So that's how the idea of also the power of no retreat was born, where we were exploring how to say no, how to explore personal boundaries, how to yeah, just really understand what we need. And then from there say, what I need right now is to go and scream on a cliff.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

That people escape from all over the world, Europe cities coming here. What are what are what are people what are we searching for? Did you find happiness here?

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Good question.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

I and why did you come here?

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Yes, I actually moved here. I've always been living in cities myself all my life and um went straight to university after school, studied business and economics in Vienna. In Vienna. Um going in the past that people told me if you do this, you will be happy, you will be successful.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

And Vienna is a beautiful city, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 4:31

It is. It was nominated as the most livable city a few times.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

So a successful businesswoman in Vienna. Now sitting on a roof tires in the retirement and talking about yoga retreats and spirituality.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Yeah, I think I needed to go away from everything that I knew to feel this connection to myself again. Um, I was quite young uh when I decided to move here, and it was a little bit like an intuition. I think when I first came here, it was through university, I was studying, but then I stayed actually at a surf house, and I think I got a glimpse into that life could be different and that I didn't need to follow what everyone was telling me to do, in a way quite normal at the in the early 20s, but the way that I had the opportunity to explore this, of course, influenced my whole life. And to your question, did I find happiness? I think in the beginning, quite the opposite. Because when I allowed myself to start listening to myself, to really looking into the past, into why I was maybe feeling unhappy, why I was feeling stressed. Um it wasn't easy to look because I think we are quite used to being distracted all the time. So there's a kind of comfort in also living in a city and having a full schedule because we don't really need to think about ourselves. Yeah. So that there's something there in having the comfort and wanting the discomfort.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

But what is it, what is what is it calling actually? Why why uh this? I think I feel a kind of special wipe here in the Isaiah. I think I'm you know, often we say that in big cities people are very open-minded. And here we are in a small, quite small coastal city area at the Atlantic in Portugal. And I think it's a very international environment that's very open-minded, actually, even on the issues we talk about here, it seems for me more open-minded than many other places. Why?

SPEAKER_01 7:09

That's true actually, and and and in some sense, there's quite a big paradox happening here on the coast, I would say. We decided to follow our needs and path. Do you also feel that coming here, coming to this retreat had some kind of inner calling, or what did it mean for you?

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Yeah, but it's a good question, you know. I I a little bit serious than a few, I've had some very rough years. Uh I I lost my job, I was divorced, uh, I tried to start a company during the corona pandemic, which was the worst possible time. And then uh I I came back, but then I moved into an apartment and lost everything in a house fire. I came back again and then I had a heart attack and almost died. So that's my story. And when I tell it that it's because that because that if I had not got into yoga before all this happened, uh then I am not sure that I would be talking to you actually, because it kind of saved my life. It's physical, it's embodiment, it's mentally, and it's not only yoga, it's the surroundings, the environment around. I literally believe that people are more friendly, more smiling, uh uh more empathic than many other places.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

I think you're right about that. I think there's something about allowing ourselves to really speak from our hearts, to share our stories honestly as we're doing here. And I think when you hear someone else's story, um, it's almost impossible to not feel empathy and compassion and be connected. And I think we don't do it often enough. Because think about how often do we need to be dishonest about what is happening and discern to be compliant in society? How often are we really allowed to say, when someone asks you, How are you? and you say, actually, I'm really bad, I'm going through something. Who is willing to listen? And um, I think what connects us here is is that is that openness, and that also comes for me from the practice of yoga, not just as we know it, the physical poses, but the whole philosophy and getting into that a little bit, as you said, you felt very welcome in the yoga environment. I remember when we met um virtually for the first time when you were interested in in the retreat, we spoke for one and a half hours and we could have spoken for even longer. And we connected just by speaking honestly, heart to heart. And I think uh when we become closer also to yoga and to personal work, we begin to look more honestly to ourselves and to allow to be vulnerable and to also show that to others.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

And it was very important actually for me to have this call. If you had not been like you were, I would probably not have gone to your retreat because for me, what when I have I've gone to some some different retreats, and and and it's listen, it's beautiful if it's a wellness retreat, but I have also done this, but for me I wanted something different, I wanted to restart my life, and therefore I was very certain that I should connect with the people having this retreat, and so maybe that's an advice to other people, you know. Think about which kind of retreat, because there are so many retreats today, aren't there?

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Yeah, I I understand what you mean, and um I appreciate your trust, of course. And and I think I can um I can relate to what you're saying also as a retreat host and organizer, because maybe you're also someone like me who craves a little bit more depth, not just a surface. And um, I really loved working more in tourism, you know, wellness, surfing, yoga, having fun. But I I I knew that there's something below the surface that we're not showing. And um also then that's what made me really interested. How can we combine this wellness aspect, yoga, and that where everyone is smiling, really link it into what is going on beyond what is going on in our psyche, in our minds. And uh for me it was really important to connect with specialists. So my colleagues, Nikki and Iva, they're not just trained medical doctors, so they have this really medical background, but they're also somatic psychotherapists, so they really know what to do with these things that can come up in us.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

So this is about embodiment.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

And for me as a man here, 61 years old, this is not a word I've been used so much. You know, I have nine years in school, three years in high school, uh, university, leader educations. No one has ever taught me anything about my body and my psychology. Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_01 13:52

It is actually, it's it's crazy, and it's um almost like I mean, when we're born as children, it's the most natural thing to us. Nobody needs to tell us. Um that's why you see uh children going from laughing to crying to screaming within a minute. It's natural. We need our bodies to process things, yet now it's a taboo. We're not even allowed to show any kind of um any kind of movement. And I think about it uh as we spoke, there are some tricky aspects of our modern society, and I think one of them is that biologically and evolutionary, we haven't really caught up to where we are. I mean, now more than ever, um, also with the new field of AI, things are moving faster than ever on a daily basis. Yet I wonder have we really caught up with our with our bodies to be there? Because when I think about um, have you ever seen an animal? Um, I've seen these documentaries, a National Geographic, running away from the prey, from the predator. And after they come out of the stressful situation, they start to shake their bodies in order to release this shock. And actually, this is what would come natural to us as humans as well. But can you imagine being in a work meeting and then saying, excuse me, I need to go shake a little bit? Scream for my scream. So that's why I believe that more than ever we it's important to create environments for us where we can not where we can share openly, as we said, openly to others, uh, to community, but also like in retreats, create spaces where we can, in a safe way, let go of these emotions and maybe also embody a little bit more.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

And what you say here, which we talk about, isn't that also why people are escaping to Isaiah, to this place, to the vibes here? Because actually many of us get completely lost in this modern world.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Yeah, you're right. It's it's hard to understand what we truly need and what makes us happy.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

And then when we meet, you know, then we tend to talk about how was it at work yesterday, and yeah, which education do you have, and what did we have for dinner last night, and which football game do we see, or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

We and of course it's also okay to talk about all these issues, but but it gets very easy surface talk, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01 16:35

Yeah, you're right, and I think um we experience a lot of loneliness. Um, we have more, we are more connected than ever. Um, there is so many people around us in the city anywhere where we live. And of course, we could contact anyone by phone and social media, and yet we're way more lonely because so many of these aspects fall up fall away. We cannot really share what's going on inside. But why not? You're also trying to make an impact and uh help people and understand themselves. You told me that you're gonna host a workshop combining yoga and how it impacts our brain. Can you tell me a bit about that?

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Yes, I do, yes, I do. I'm not a yoga teacher, but I've experienced so much in yoga. So uh, and I have also a lot of knowledge from from my coaching uh education and how our brain works, and from my personal life experiences, of course. So, so my workshop is about how you can bring the best from the mat out into your real life. Because you know, it's funny when we go to yoga sometimes. It could be like like you go to the doctor, you know. Now I go to yoga from 10. Now I go to yoga from 10 to 11, I fixed it and I go out. Yeah, you know, and and and I don't believe in this. I believe you need your practice. Yeah, so isn't everyday life.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Isn't that also about embodiment in a way?

SPEAKER_00 18:18

That's about embodiment, yeah, beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

And I think um it's it's great because that is how we relate to each other, right? You have your personal story with it, and you want to bring it in your workshop and see that it is possible.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

Yes, and and you are yoga teacher now, so maybe we should talk more about this another day.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Yeah, I would love to, and then you can tell me a little bit more about how your education is going in yoga and dance. And I mean, how did you decide to do something like that at 61?

SPEAKER_00 18:50

A man 61 years old goes to yoga and dance in an environment with virtually no men. That is absolutely crazy, and it's one of the most crazy decisions I've taken in my entire life, Bianca. So maybe we can talk about it yesterday. Maybe so. Let's do that.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Sorry, thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

It was a pleasure. I left my talk with Bianca uplifted. This was a good start in my search for modern happiness. In the next episode, I will talk to the two medical doctors at the retreat in psychosomatic therapy. Are you curious on my project? You can read much more at powerofsmile.dk. You can also subscribe to my free newsletter. No spam, no marketing, only invitations and like in this podcast conversations that matter.